It's always times like these when I think of you.

I'm a neglecter. I don't want to be, I don't choose to be, but it's a definite truth. I've neglected to write Hell and All Realms Beyond, I've neglected to hang out with Courtney even though I think I like her, I've neglected to review Plastic Constellation, I've neglected Dez and Mora, but most of all I'm neglected myself. I went to see Obama and I pretty much just stood there in the freezing cold while he talked. There was nothing going through my head, no actual reverence or respect for the person I care so much about. And even though my drawings have been good lately I've had to force myself to do them.

Nothing's going the way I thought it would. Every time I try to plan out my life, to fix things, I fuck something up. Sure, I'm on honor roll now and stuff but I think that's an accident, only there because I just barely try enough to keep people from thinking something's wrong. What IS wrong? Even I don't know.

Something's missing. It could be that I don't talk to people enough, I really don't. Every fleeting emotion I pretty much just let slide by, and there's everything wrong with that. I'm in a shitheap of emotion right now. I don't know how to fix it because I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S WRONG. But something's off about me. Something's really badly off.

Help.